Healing With A,  Life

Letting go; Moving on.

It’s one of those things that people say, you can’t move
on until you let go of the past. Letting go is the easiest part, it’s the
moving on part that’s painful. So sometimes we fight it, try and keep things
the same. Things can’t stay the same though.
At some point, you just have to let go. Move on.
Because no matter how painful it is, it`s the only way we grow. 

-Meredith Grey

We have all had
those moments in life where you realize things aren’t the same anymore. Whether
it’s revisiting your childhood home, the road you grew up on, or even trying to
reconnect with old friends. You realize you have taken different paths in life,
that the memories you had in the past were just that; in the past. I know the feeling of being in a bad place, of finding
a picture or hearing a song that brings up those memories and all you want is
to go back and be in the happy place. You try so hard to relive those moments,
even try reliving them with the same people but it’s just not the same. You
have to accept that things have changed, that the life your living now is not
how it was back then. You have to let go of what could have been and what
should have been to be able to really accept who & where you are now.

Moving on, letting
go; that doesn’t mean you have to forget. Remembering the past, the good and
bad, it’s what helps you grow. I have had a lot of pain in my past, so much I
didn’t think I would ever move on from it. I have been molested, brokenhearted, attacked and beaten down emotionally to the point I started doubting
myself. I started believing everything that was said to me, and I lost a part
of me that I felt like I would never get back. Until I woke up one day and
thought ‘Enough is enough. You are beautiful inside and out. You will move past
everything you have been through and come out stronger in the end.’ That was
when I decided to turn the bad in my life into something good.

I took the bad and
made it into something positive, something I can use as a way to have closure.
I decided to write a book kind of based on what happened to me but have it turn
out different. When people ask what I am writing about and I give them the
short version most are baffled by the fact that I would want to relive those
details in my life on paper. But they don’t get it. I decided that I wasn’t
going to let the negative in my past affect how I was today, because who I am
now is the best version of me that I have ever been. I can’t change the past,
nor would I want too. It has made me the women I am today. So why not share my
story with others and share with them how to cope and get closure? I would
rather take the negative and turn it into something positive rather than spend
the rest of my life dwelling on the past.  

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