Healing With A,  My Journey,  Self-Healing

How to Cope With Grief And Loss Without Falling Apart

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It’s not a topic anyone likes to think about in, but dealing with loss is unfortunately a part of life, and something that we will all experience at some point. The first time you have to cope with grief is frightening, confusing and quite overwhelming. Because our society tends to turn away from the grieving process, there isn’t an open dialogue around it. 

This can often make the experience even more isolating, as someone who has been bereaved may find that others are similarly inexperienced and at a loss for what to say to them, making the mourner feel even more alone in their hour of need. Some people just don’t know how to deal with others emotions which, in the end, will make you feel even worse.

Although there is no single ‘right way’ to deal with grief, and everyone will have a different experience, there are definitely a few wrong ways to deal with a torrent of negative emotion, including bottling everything up or using unhealthy coping mechanisms like substance abuse. If and when this situation does happen to you – taking steps to deal with your grief is an essential part of taking steps towards healing. 

I have a problem with keeping everything bottled up, which makes my anxiety worsen so in turn I do things to keep myself busy. You don’t realize how much that can affect you until you slow down and realize you haven’t dealt with it, and bam! It hits you even harder. Hopefully these tips help you.

Express Your Emotions

Trying to bury negative emotions is a recipe for disaster in the long term. There is a difference between the strength we have to find sometimes to support other loved ones who have been affected, and completely avoiding our own emotional response to a death. Sometimes, it takes a while for us to process the full impact of such a life-changing event, which is why people often refer to ‘stages of grief’. You may not feel the full extent of what has happened initially, and that is perfectly okay if you prefer to stay busy – but make sure you have the time and space to explore your own feelings rather than sweeping them to one side. Accept that the pain might never go away – but over time it will probably lessen and you will learn tools for coping with emotional pain as well. 

Take Part In Rituals

The reason that every culture has evolved rituals around death is that they can provide some comfort and a sense of closure, even if you do not have spiritual beliefs. Simply honoring the life of that person in a way that they would have liked can help those who are left behind. Equally, some people find focusing on the practical details of arranging a funeral a welcoming calm. Simple things like choosing readings for a funeral, selecting the right type of ceremony,  looking for wooden urns, and making the event come together can provide a small measure of peace. 

Create A Path To Memories

Being able to look back and remember someone you loved is important. Things like creating a memory box, taking part in a charity race to raise money for a cause they cared about or planting a tree in memory of that person can create a tangible link that you can revisit when you feel the need, and feel close to them again. Over time, this can become a really important way to remember the person you have loved and lost. 

Let me know what you think!